A very special lady...

So, I'm deviating from my daily entries for a damn good reason, if I do say so myself.I wanted to take a bit to share with you how cool my grandma is. And I'm fully aware of the fact that you all probably think you're grandma is the coolest one there is too... but still.... My weekend and/or Spring Break took a bit of a loop on Friday afternoon when I found out that my grandma was now on Hospice care and the outlook wasn't so hot.

Honestly, I thought about the blog. But if I'm truly real with you all and myself, if I were to list the ways I've been thankful it would be purely a "head-attempts-to-make-heart-feel-this-way" sort of thing. And yes, the memories and the qualities that I'm thankful for are playing through my mind like some weird combination of a slide show and home movie, but I'm not quite ready to settle into that part yet and instead I thought I would share just a few of the things that have played throughout this weird episode.

I had the pleasure of having my grandma, Gurley (blend of "grandma" and Shirley = Gurley) living in San Ramon with me for the first 14ish years of my life. I don't think I really knew how cool it was to be able to call her after a day in 6th grade and have her pick me up, take me back to her house, watch Jenny Jones and eat popcorn with me. Or how fun it was for her to take me to get my first manicure and pedicure (something I was always jealous of her for doing) and then taking me to Office Max and letting me literally SHOP till I was ready to drop with all the paperclips, pens, pencils, etc that I got. Or how she always had an open door for my friends and I to go swim in her pool during the summer. She would always attempt to buy us new pool toys, but would always get the cheaper pool noodles that left chunks on our skin before the summer was over. And how she would always invite me over to spend the night at her house, watch Annie with me which was one of the only movies she had, and let me sleep on the big comfy chair. Why I thought sleeping on the chair was better than a couch and/or bed I have no idea. But she laid in the family room with me until it was okay for her to go back to her own room. Or even how my best friend growing up, Kristen, would ALWAYS ask about her, and how Gurley would always ask about Kris. She was constantly welcoming, always friendly, and definitely always had my favorite snacks in the cupboard.

I was trying to think of some attempt at profound statements, or wisdom that I feel I can share, but I don't have anything. Instead... here are just a few random pictures I found on my parents computer that will hopefully give you the smallest glimpse into her loving sass that she had for everyone!

Day 30: Journaling

Life is getting fun again lately, and today I started journaling again! It felt SO nice to get pen to paper and write without thought or worry and get it down on paper. I've loved blogging everyday, but there is something different about it. Don't get me wrong, I love the clickity clack of typing. But I also love the crinkly sound a page in a journal makes from pressing down with a ball point pen. It's oddly satisfying.

I thought about why I hadn't been journaling. And my reasons suck. A lot of it has to do with not having the time for it. And my not "having" the time for it, I really mean not making the time for it. There is a reality factor in which journaling requires time, and sometimes a lot of it depending on what's on the inside. With the craziness of school and student teaching, and trying to find time for fun stuff, it just became low on the totem pole of what I wanted to spend my time doing.

I think there is another part of me that was hoping and thinking that if I don't journal, problems will sift through themselves. SO WRONG! SO SO WRONG! There is a hope I think to wish and want for things to connect dots to themselves. However, I've learned that that is not the case and it is important to allow time to process things and get them out in some capacity.

So my Blog World Friends.... if you're feeling heavy with stuff, take some time to think about getting it out somehow. It will help!

Day 29: An adventure to the movies!

So... Did you know that Hunger Games came out?! If you didn't... WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!?!?!? Last night a few friends and I went to the midnight premiere in Vacaville! It was so fun! I have to confess I haven't finished the book yet... but  I am in the process of reading it and I'm not going to give up!! I will finish it and it will be fabulous! It was nice to get together with some of the girls from Teacher World and be so un-teacher-world! Yay for friends and midnite movies!

Also, this is the most AWAKE I've ever been at a midnite movie.. usually I'm asleep and wake up for the credits! I only slept for like 10 minutes! At least I think that's how long I was out! =)

Day 27 and 28: Getting Caught up

Well, I said I would try my best while I was on my little road trip to stay up to date, and what do you know?!? I slipped. So in the spirit of keeping on the 40 Days of Gratitude... Here are a variety of things that have brought be some joy over the past couple of days!

• Spending some time in my friend's mom's classroom. It was fun to help and hangout but also observe for a couple hours. Good perspective, and further proof that teaching is teaching no matter where! 
• BEACH TIME!!! Kristen and I went to Huntington and chatted for hours! It was such a gorgeous beach! I honestly don't know if I've seen that much sand on a beach in California in a LONG time! Sounds so dumb and obvious, but it was beautiful tan and freckled sand and the waves were lovely to watch! And the sun was shining and my heart was happy!
• Street fairs in Huntington! It was fun to walk around the beach, spend some time at the street fair and just catch up a bit more!
• Bagels before driving
• Smooth, uneventful driving in a non-allergic reaction sort of way
• Granola bars that are also a wannabe microphone when driving one of the most boring drives ever and you don't want to think or you don't know what to think about it!
• Fun nights at Edge. I got Bryan out in Dodgeball TWICE!!!! I'm usually terrible at this game, but we put some spins on it and Once you were out you could help your team out from jail and I got him out!
• Going for drinks to celebrate Emma getting into UCD Vet School! It was fun to all sit around at De'Veres (our spot of choice) and spend time with friends and catch up
• Sleeping in this morning.... okay I didn't really sleep that late, but the option was super nice and to wake up and have a pretty slow morning has been relaxing. 

It is always nice to take a break from the normal routine, but sometimes it is nice to get back to it too. I had a nice visit with friends in SoCal, and as much as I'm not a fan of LA itself, it was nice to be in a new place. Well sorta new, new in the sense that it wasn't a place where I knew where every street went. I'm liking the idea of a new adventure soon, and I think it will come, I just don't know what kind of adventure. I think one of the hardest things is to find adventure with where you're at. I've said it before, and I'll say it again... I'm not a fan of change, it freaks me out a bit, it's stressful, not always fun, exciting, exhilarating, unpredictable. All sorts of things. I'm feeling like I'm getting to a point where I need some sort of variety. But until I actually know what that is on account of God hasn't quire given me all the clues to solve the mystery yet, I'm going to try to find adventure and variety where I'm at in the best way I know how..... 

DAY TRIPS! =) 

Day 26: 4 Hour Chili's dates

Day 26: sitting FOREVER at Chili's with one of my best girl friends from college!

This is a continuation post from a few days ago... but I get to La Verne yesterday, the one and only hometown of my girl Kristen! I met her at a Chili's knowing that we would both be happy campers with chicken tenders and a margarita! Literally 4 hours passed. 4 HOURS! I can honestly, and proudly say that I had never accomplished such a thing before yesterday! It was so nice scratching the surface of what life has been like for the past few months for each other!

I've been trying to figure out this mystery, and I could be totally wrong and off, but I think I'm starting to get somewhere with it. I've had several conversations with a variety of my people about how we form our community of friends and the people we keep close to our hearts. I'm starting to think that we as humans sorta have this "Community Crunch Window" in our early 20s. During this time, we find people that make us feel complete and build our puzzle with ALL the pieces, edges, insides, everything! And we're not meant to spend our forever days with these people, but they hold such a special place in our heart and our lives that we will always have them as a foundation.

So basically, in other words, speaking from my own life at least, my friends that were my friends in my
"formative 20s" will always be my go-to.  I think about a lot of these friendships and even though i don't get to talk to them all the time and spend every day with them, they will forever hold a fond spot in my heart.

I'm also not trying to say that you can never add to your foundation. I've met some WONDERFUL people that have brought many laughs and happiness and all other good-feeling things that were not in my early 20s. I'm just saying that I think we as humans are sorta wired to absorb people in a slightly different, yet significant way. And maybe my early 20s just represent one of those "I'm-becoming-me" phases of young adulthood, which is a scary thought in itself.... but I'm just thankful for the people of that phase of life, and really all people. If you haven't noticed, I'm a people person, and people leave their marks on me in mostly good ways ;)

In closing, here's an all-to-true Bible verse that I think wraps it up nicely:

Proverbs 27:17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

Day 25: ponchos on splash mountain

Today, I'm thankful for ponchos on splash mountain! Splash mountain is one of my favorite rides, but being wet is one of my least favorite things! I was super excited that it was open when we went to Disney, and I was even more glad that I bought 2 cheap-o ponchos at Target! Got to go on the ride, looked good doing it and looked even better after! The proof is is the pictures, my friends!

Day 24: Getting places...literally

Day 24: Today I am thankful for making it to places safe and sound!

Spring Break started for me on Friday which meant that I couldn't wait to peace out for a few days and get to SoCal for a few days to see a couple of my people! But in typical Steph fashion it had to be slightly more complicated than just driving for hours on end in an incredibly boring part of California. I started by stopping at a Starbucks for a coffee. I took a few sips, started to feel funny, drank some water, read the computer label and found out that they put SOY in my coffee. Well uhm, I'm kinda allergic to soy as in throat gets scratchy and kinda closed.....

AHH! Are you kidding me?! All I want to do is get to So Cal and get some greasy food and they are putting soy in my coffee! NO FREAKIN WAY! I found some benadryl, took one, sat at a McDonalds and let it do its magic and finally felt okay enough to start driving!

Lots of bathroom stops later, some gas station coffee which might have had like triple the amount of caffeine by body is used to, and some random CDs later, I finally got to LA! Tomorrow is Disneyland!!!!!!!!!

Day 23: playing with teacher people!

Yesterday I had to go to a PE workshop for school and basically all we did all day was play! If I had to wait a day longer for spring break to come, then I'm glad I got to play while doing it!!

Enjoy Spring beak!!

Day 22: Those friends that you know you'll be friends with forever

Day 22: Today's gratitude is going to my very dear friend Kristen (Sugartits(Sugatits(Tits))).

I met this girl my freshman year in college and we had this magical friendship moment where we were walking to "Trudy's" (okay really, talk about a Farm-college convenience store's name...) and we were walking probably to buy Dino Eggs and soda or something really "healthy" and one of us said "We're gonna like totally be each other's bridesmaids or something"

Well tonight, we finally, and by "finally" I mean FINALLY caught up for a little bit! I get to go down  South next week and hang out with her and her awesome family and catch up on life! There ARE bullet point lists on all the things we need to catch up on and we will chat about them all! Probably over pizza, and/or chicken nuggets and/or cheez-its!!!  

Day 21: lunch after the job fair

Today I am thankful for lunch after the job fair! 11 of us squished into the booth at Applebee's and enjoyed ourselves some fun times after a slightly stressful job fair! Job faire=no fun! Happy Thursday aka happy almost weekend aka happy almost disneyland time!!!

Day 20: Desserts

Day 20: Today I am throwing the gratitude towards desserts!

I'm not a big dessert person, but I do enjoy myself an evening adventure. 2 grocery stores, a million indecisive choices, and 1 forced decision later, we finally found dessert! I'm glad that it brought the tiniest of small breaks in what feels like a crazy busy week!

Day 18 and 19: Motivated by TO-DO lists

Oopsies.... I forgot to post yesterday, and I'm just getting today's post up in time before it is technically too late!

These past couple of days, and this week for that matter, will largely be defined and fueled by getting items done from the to-do list. I'm in CRUNCH mode. I don't know about you all, but I get to a point where I either hit a wall harder than I thought I would, or I keep repeatedly hitting a wall until something mixes it up, or I hit a wall and I don't realize I'm hitting a wall but still have the drained emptiness to show for it. I don't know what you guys think, but I kinda feel like I might be experiencing all three of these.... Is that even possible?!?!?

I have Spring Break coming up. Actually, it's pretty close, except if I use the length of my to-do list as written on Post-it notes to measure, it is pretty far away! I'm making it a point to get out of Northern California and am headed down to So Cal to catch up with some friends and visit the lovely House of Mouse! I need the change of scenery.

Also, in a moment of reflecting on what Lent is all about.... I'm choosing to add something to my life in an intentional way for 40 days. Jesus spent 40 days in the desert being tempted by an and every way possible. Honestly, it never really occured to me how long 40 days actually is. Like I said, I'm just taking a quick 15 minutes to write a blog post daily, and honestly, I'm getting a little tired from it.... But I took it on in a meaningful way and I will keep going!

Unrelated, but slightly related, tangent: I will do my best to keep updating from the road this weekend and next week! I promise, I'll update when I get home for sure!

Day 17: Taking a day

Day 17: Taking a day to break the norm (mostly)....


Today I went on a little Bay Area adventure with the parents. We went to Moss Beach, Pacifica, stopped in SF for some coffee and then headed home. It was nice not only to get myself a brief stop at the beach, but also to get to spend some time with my parents.

Day 16: A Special Phone Call

Day 16: Today I am so grateful for a special phone call. 

For those of you that have read my blog before, you know that I got to work with a student last year that touched my heart in a big way! This year I've gotten to keep in contact with him just a little bit... I've sent him cards that I hear he loves (HINT: Find the most ANNOYING music card, send with quick note, and find out how much child will love it!) I've made it over to the school to visit a couple times, but still nothing like what it was like working with him everyday.



Well (technically it was Friday afternoon) I got a text message from an old co-worker/friend who was working with him. She had told me that he was having a bad afternoon and wanted to know if I wanted to chat with him. OF COURSE I SAID OF COURSE!!!!! Well, he was a little embarrassed and shy because he wasn't exactly in the best space emotionally. It was random, but kind of encouraging....

Anyway, my night went on, same old, same old (Friday night= cleaning room, putting clothes away, looking at my school to-do list, etc etc) and my phone rings.... "Hi this is blah blah blah from [Place where kid lives] I have A here, and he would like to talk to you."

I talked to my little friend for 25 minutes. It was the first time he had taken advantage of having my number in about a year, and we chatted about pillow pets, letters I'd sent him, cards that he has kept, friends and school, what to do when we're having bad days, etc, etc."

I hung up the phone with him and was just in this excited-confused-humbled-encouraged state. Knowing that I wouldn't get to see him everyday was heartbreaking at the end of last year. Never did I think that a kid, a 4th grader at the time, would touch my heart that way. Even more than that, knowing that 9 months later, he still remembers me and wants to call me on a Friday night and chat about nothing and everything at the same time is SO SO humbling and encouraging.

As I've trudged through the credential program, there have been points where the only reason I want to be a teacher is simply because I can "be good at it." I mean, I think everyone is looking for some sort of job that they can be good at, that at times it seems so natural and innate that it doesn't require a whole lot of investment. I've sort of developed an idea of what a job should be based on your ability to participate in "other life" outside of it. For example, finding a job where you can still play sports, invest in friends and family, volunteer for a youth group/club/etc.

But this Friday night phone call reminded me in a big way of why I truly, whole-heartily want to be a teacher for the rest of my life (until I retire at least...). The reality is that kids are the future of tomorrow. Don't be hatin' cliches have truth.  As a teacher, I have an opportunity to affect and love kids and make them believe even if for a small minute that they matter to someone.  My hope and dream of being a teacher is that I make an impact on at least one kid that sticks with them for a lifetime. Often times, teachers talk about "one kid" who changed it all for them, and this little guy has definitely started a change in me.

Day 15: Thursday night bed time

Thursday is one of the longest days of the week for me... Not only is it long from the standpoint of being out and at class, but it is the day that my tired catches up to me most! So today I'm thankful for writing this post while snuggled under the covers. Thursday night bedtime... It is nice to meet you!!

Day 14: Productivity during free time

There is some admitted irony to this post today.... I am thankful for productive afternoons and running errands and knocking things off my to-do list that were not even there. The ironic part... I'm working on homework at 12:00midnight......... I really hope my sleepy brain isn't the only one that sees some potential humor in this....

Day 14: Exercise

Today was a pretty good day overall, but I would definitely say that it was made better by the point that I made it a priority to come home from a full day of student teaching and a discussion panel to exercise... I'm feeling my exercise priority slipping... okay, not completely, but I do want to make sure I keep it on the regular.... I feel like I'm going out of the New Year intense motivation phase, and I don't want to settle in to the "Let's-not-get-soft Spring...."

...... Here's hoping this will bring a little fitness inspiration back into my step! LITERALLY.

Day 13: Early Dismissal and NO traffic!

Today I'm thankful for getting out of class early, and having NO traffic on the way home!


Let me tell you, these two things brought an extra little pep to my afternoon/evening. Mostly because they just make me feel a little less "thrown-to-the-woes" of constantly commuting. But also because they made it possible for me to enjoy a coffee and a walk with Sarah, watch a couple of innings of Giants' Spring Training (HOO-RAH!!!), and catch up with Alyssa and Dash at The Beer Shoppe! Ya know, for a Monday, I'll take it! =)

Day 12: Day Trips

Today, I'm thankful for day trips to a gorgeous city by the Bay. Literally! 


Today I went on an adventure with Sam, Hannah, Emma, and Cat! We found our way to SF and enjoyed some time on the pier! We walked around, enjoyed the sites of the gorgeous city with not a cloud in sight! Sam and I spent lots of time sitting on the grass chatting, while the girls wandered the streets and found their own San Francisco! Gotta love quick, fun adventures. Especially when the sun is out!

Day 11: Celebration

Today's gratitude goes towards all the love and celebration that marked yesterday! 

Today was filled with lots of celebrating and time with my people! Pretty much all of them, whether in person, on the phone, over skype, through text message, facebook... you name it! It was raining love for the day and I am so thankful! Let's let the pictures do some of the talking, shal we?! 

Started the day off with a cup of coffee with Dash! 

Headed to breakfast at Putah Creek Cafe with the fam-bam! 

Throw in some family hangout time, a wireless bike odometer and some sparkly sequin toms.... and it was time for a time travel.... 

These two made me the coolest Pacman cake... complete with the white dots he likes to eat!!! 

Prom Pose

 To any and all of you that had a small part of my birthday.... I send nothing but love and appreciation! You're AWESOME!!!!

Day 10: Inspiration

Day 10: Today's gratitude goes towards that feeling when you feel you've been inspired. 


Coming at you early today, but today I'm thankful and appreciative of those moments of inspiration where you can't help but write down your idea right away. I was sitting in my final class for the week, not necessarily counting down the hours-minutes-seconds type of thing, but eagerly awaiting class to be dismissed, and in the most random way, I got a blip of "HEY! That's how I'm going to teach a lesson next week!" To me, it was the best kinda of inspiration to experience because I didn't even know when or what was going to come from class.

Inspiration is such a motivating thing, when I think about it. I'm sure some of you are like "UH, Steph, DUH! That's the point of inspiration, it makes you get things done!" Okay, totally true. But I kinda mean on a little bit of a different kind of inspiration. I'm talking about the kind that not only motivates you, but also makes you feel like your insides are just that much more in line with themselves. Sort of a relieving sense of inspiration. Yes, today's mega dose of gratitude game during a moment in class, but I'm just feeling a little more lined up on the inside and I can't help but think it might be because there is a bigger sense of inspiration coming from God.

Day 9: Simple Things

Day 9: Simple Things

Today's simple things that brought me immense happiness:

• While asking a student who was sick yesterday how he was feeling, he told me that he was feeling better "because this morning I had a halls and now it's all good!" So honest, so simple. 
• Getting to color and chat with some of my students while coloring a checkerboard pattern of my handprint while student "teaching"
• tricking a group of stranger-5th graders into thinking they got to plan a part of their own desires... and then getting to say FOOOOOLED YOU!
• Stopping for a cofee
• hour+ conversations with Alex
• Thursday dinner with the roommate
• Thursday night time with Sam and Amy, and being able to sit in silence while still being totally together
• Being that much closer to Friday and Weekend! 

I hope you had one small gift today that brought you simple happiness!