Day 5: Looking forward while loving the present

Day 5: Looking forward while enjoying the present


It is far too late to be worrying about blogging, but I'm extra gracious for all that's coming up in the next few months! Today, and this weekend really, I spent lots of time with loved ones on in person, on walks, at the movies, on the phone, over skype, grubbing down, exercising, all sorts of fun! It seems that every time I was with someone, we were planning something SO FUN! Not just throwing out fun ideas, but actually, officially (it's on Facebook soooo.....) planning fun things to look forward to. It made me realize that I have been incredibly blessed to not only have people that keep me sane and grounded and calm in the present, but have also been blessed to have a number of opportunities and events to look forward to! I mean, I don't wanna brag or anything but.... birthday shenanigans, followed by a day at the beach with my family the following weekend, then Disneyland the weekend after, then a brew tour with the amigos, then pretty much after that D-O-N-E and can say I'm a teacher, and then not to far from that.... BEACH HOUSE!!!!! Let me tell you, have something glorious to motivate me to the weekends is surprisingly grounding in the midst of the chaos. For those of you that are extra observant, yes, it is 12:30 California time, and yes, I'm thinking about missing sleep, but I feel jazzed up on the fun times coming soon!

This morning at church we were singing an awesome song called "Your grace is enough." And one particular line especially struck me: "You lead us by still waters" I sorta realized that in these first few days of my 40 Days of Gratitude, all the things that I've "chosen" have all been parts of my day that bring me by still water, or bring me a sense of calming peace and enjoyment. I guess what started as a post about being happy while looking forward to the present, is also a post in which I feel especially gracious and appreciative for the fact that God can bring me still water in a variety of environments and circumstances and still bring a sense of peace to my insides. For that, I have eternal gratitude....

Calm in the commotion

Cliche or not, life has been a roller coaster lately. In this case, I think it is relevant to think about my own experiences with real-life, loopty-loop, goes-upside-down roller coasters in my life. When I was younger, I HATED roller coasters. Every summer, I would go to summer day camps and going to the local amusement park was always a regular field trip fixture. We always had to sign up for a group of thrill-level so that we were with other kids that wanted to go on similar rides. I ALWAYS signed up for the weak and wimpy group.... we went on the merry-go-round a couple spinny rides and that was it. 

In 8th grade I went on a trip to Disneyland/California Adventure with my mom and brother. It was big news that California Adventure had a roller coaster with an upside down part.... I kept staring at the ride, trying to imagine myself on it, picturing what it might feel like to go upside down... I kept talking to my thrill-seeking brother, and my go-with-the-flow mom. They were going to go on the ride regardless of if I went on or not. They kept trying to pressure me to go.... My mom made me a deal and said that she would give me $20 if I went on it.... (DISCLAIMER: my mom didn't not often use bribery as a form to push my limits! We were in Disneyland, afterall!) 

Well.... next thing I knew I was on the roller coaster, and it was true, I didn't feel the upside down part at all! I felt the thrill and the rush of the loopty-loops, stomach-dropping dips, and fast turns! I learned to love roller coasters, and I made 20 bucks! Not a bad afternoon at all! 

Basically, all you brave blog-readers just got a glimpse into the history of this metaphor of life right now. I'm on the roller coaster of a 1 year teaching preparation program. It really is similar to that initial fear of roller coasters; I stood on the outside and tried to imagine what it felt like. I had the great blessing of having a summer that was completely mellow, as I've so eagerly told Blog world about! Starting this program is just like getting on California Screamin' at California Adventure! All of a sudden, your secured into your train, and BAM! you hit high speeds and the first hill before you know it! 

That is exactly how the program has started. We had our anxious meet and greet among cohort members, and then BAM! we hit full speed, and FAST! I've been feeling the thrills and chills that come with a program built on quickness. So much of that is just adjusting my own personal capacities. I know I'm facing a weekend full of readings, postings, lesson plannings, kids interviewing, movie watching, and much MUCH more in between. However, in the same way that the first "big" roller coaster I went on  was only a quick ride, this program will be over before I know it too. I don't want it to go by so fast that I don't feel the thrills, but at the same time, I know this is just a temporary ride, and if it gets so crazy I want to get off.... the safety harness will keep me in, and it has an end in sight! 

Special Delivery!

Lately I've been feeling a little "middle of the road" with all the transitions that are taking place. I say middle of the road, because I really don't do that well with change but I am excited to be settled into a new environment and working with new students at a new school. I like to think of myself as someone who welcomes adventures, and new, and unpredictable, but really I'm a creature of habit and I like when I know what to expect.  As I'm getting ready for a new adventure, I'm a little wary of the whole "start." I know that once I settle into everything it will be great, and I'll be constantly reminded why I wanted to pursue my teaching credential, but right now I'm feeling pretty up-in-the-air about it all! 

I'm also gearing up for the whole "friends-that-are-leaving" part of the next adventure. It seems that that is a normal marker, and one that will be a part of the next few years. While I'm excited for all the new adventures life is bringing us all, not being able to sit down at the same table and laugh and cry about all the ups-and-downs of each and every day definitely take me some getting used to. I'm not usually this emotional about that stuff, but I've found myself on the brink of tears whenever I think about those "see ya laters"(because I KNOW they will NOT be goodbyes). I don't think they are completely tears of sadness, but just tears of "damn, we've had some good times." I know that there will be new friends in the picture and that they will be just as fabulous, but never will replace these friendships! 

But, the real reason I'm posting today is because I got something so fantastic and special in the mail today! There was one student in particular that I got extremely close to last year and I was heartbroken to leave at the end of the year. He definitely stole a huge chunk of my heart. Anyway, I wanted to keep in touch with him however I could. I know that once school starts, my co-workers will do what they can to keep us in touch, but until then.... 

ANYWAY! I wrote him a letter a couple weeks ago just telling him about my summer and asking him some questions. His social worker told me not to expect anything in return which made me a little sad, but i sent the letter anyway. I included a self-addressed envelope and a "checklist" like the ones that we used day-in and day-out at school with some ideas for what he can write me back with. I checked the mail this morning, with my "middle-of-the-road" attitude in full swing. And i peaked inside our dinky mail box and i saw my self-addressed envelope sitting under some crappy ads! I WAS SO ELATED AND EXCITED!!!!!!!!

He used our checklist to write me back, including things about his summer, how his swim lessons are going, what book he is reading, and even drew me a little picture! It was absolutely precious and reminded me that I can be a little more on the high side of the road as I approach all this transition! It's things like that that just make me love working with kids! 

The building blocks....

I'm so bummed and frustrated! I wrote a really fun post about the building blocks to my new adventures and somehow it got deleted! WHAT THE HELL, Blog World?!?! I really liked the idea of setting up my blog with a foundation and a purpose. I'm feeling a bit grumpy right now, but I will try to re-accomplish said goal.... here goes nothing! 

So, the main reason I'm taking the Blog World at this point in my life is because many dear friends and family have, or will have begun new adventures as of recent. Friends and family mean the world to me, so in an effort to minimize physical distances between us, I'm hoping to update you all on the fun happenings of life with this blog. 

So this might lead you to wonder what said happenings are.... well, I've finally figured out what my "next steps" are in this game of life. For those of you that have had any sort of conversation with me about life goals in the past, you know, probably all to well, just how indecisive I've been when it has come to making a plan.  I like to think that this indecisiveness has really been excitement for a lot in disguise! 

Well, the disguise is off... I've finally figured out what the next steps are. I'm going to be starting the Sac State credential program in the August and I couldn't be more excited to continue the journey towards being a teacher! I'm enrolling the 1 year program which means it will be very busy, full of learning and funny students! Knowing me, and what it takes to get my happy bug going, a 1 year program will also likely mean that I will be having LOTS of coffee! So, take this as your general gift hint for me~ coffee gift certificates are ALWAYS welcome!!!  

My hope is that this blog will become a place for me to share funny stories of kids, things that are exciting and worth sharing with you all, and just general life lessons!