Cake Boss

Today was my first day of student teaching for my Teaching Credential Program and I had...if I do say so myself... a brilliant analogy. I was talking to my mentor teacher during recess about the students in the class. My mentor teacher has informed me that more than any other year, this seems to be a very diverse year as far as learners and students needs go. She quickly and casually mentioned how there were a lot of layers in this class. In one of my random moments of clarity I called her the "Cake Boss" of the year. The Cake Boss (the guy on TLC that makes crazy cakes for crazy money) takes these random pieces of cake and layers them together with some glue (frosting) and with a little aesthetic care.... BAM you have a castle of a cake. Literally.

I just let it sit for a while, but as I've been thinking about all the change going on in my life and the life of my friends and family.... I realized to some extent, we are all our own Cake Bosses trying to layer the cake of life in a way that looks like a castle. Sometimes... we get gorgeous sculptures of sweet perfection....while other times we get pathetic mounds of cake crumbs mixed in with some sprinkles for some "added" flavor. If life were a bakery, we would all have such different flavors of cake in our shops.

While I'm sure we all could construct a cake of our own, this is my blog, so allow me to bake a cake for you! As much as I like to think change is good.... the actual change SUCKS!  As I've mentioned before, life went through a big change. I'm still at the phase of life (and probably will be for a good majority of my life) in which a new "year" is actually a new August/September marking change, similar to the school year. The short short version of it is that I'm (1) going back to school to get my multiple subject teaching credential and (2) a few friends near and dear to my heart took off for their own adventures. Other secret: I'm a people person, and a cryer... you do the math to figure out how I handle goodbyes!

Let's allow the layer of change to be my cake layer that got a little burnt because no matter how I feel like I prepare, it always feels like I'm just not quite prepared enough... I actually think I did a pretty good job with this particular change. Well, best as I could which has to count for something, right?!

Anyway...there are tons of layers in this cake that were there from before. (Don't over think the baking analogy... it will get tricky) I've got layers for family, being a daughter and sister. A layer for friends, my local family in which God has strengthened the bonds between, I've got the layer of being a student. I've got a layer for being a youth leader. I've got a layer for being me. I've got a layer for all the kids I've met in schools that mean the world to me! The layers of my cake could go on and on....

Basically what I'm trying to get at with this slightly funky Cake Boss analogy is that we are all in charge of trying to construct our own cake. We're learning how to be creative with our cake, trying to give every layer its chance to shine (or just taste really good!) among many, many layers. And the other truth is, most bakers have co-bakers to help them with their cake. We're all helping to make magnificent creations for each other. One cake at a time, we will fill our bakery!

Special Delivery!

Lately I've been feeling a little "middle of the road" with all the transitions that are taking place. I say middle of the road, because I really don't do that well with change but I am excited to be settled into a new environment and working with new students at a new school. I like to think of myself as someone who welcomes adventures, and new, and unpredictable, but really I'm a creature of habit and I like when I know what to expect.  As I'm getting ready for a new adventure, I'm a little wary of the whole "start." I know that once I settle into everything it will be great, and I'll be constantly reminded why I wanted to pursue my teaching credential, but right now I'm feeling pretty up-in-the-air about it all! 

I'm also gearing up for the whole "friends-that-are-leaving" part of the next adventure. It seems that that is a normal marker, and one that will be a part of the next few years. While I'm excited for all the new adventures life is bringing us all, not being able to sit down at the same table and laugh and cry about all the ups-and-downs of each and every day definitely take me some getting used to. I'm not usually this emotional about that stuff, but I've found myself on the brink of tears whenever I think about those "see ya laters"(because I KNOW they will NOT be goodbyes). I don't think they are completely tears of sadness, but just tears of "damn, we've had some good times." I know that there will be new friends in the picture and that they will be just as fabulous, but never will replace these friendships! 

But, the real reason I'm posting today is because I got something so fantastic and special in the mail today! There was one student in particular that I got extremely close to last year and I was heartbroken to leave at the end of the year. He definitely stole a huge chunk of my heart. Anyway, I wanted to keep in touch with him however I could. I know that once school starts, my co-workers will do what they can to keep us in touch, but until then.... 

ANYWAY! I wrote him a letter a couple weeks ago just telling him about my summer and asking him some questions. His social worker told me not to expect anything in return which made me a little sad, but i sent the letter anyway. I included a self-addressed envelope and a "checklist" like the ones that we used day-in and day-out at school with some ideas for what he can write me back with. I checked the mail this morning, with my "middle-of-the-road" attitude in full swing. And i peaked inside our dinky mail box and i saw my self-addressed envelope sitting under some crappy ads! I WAS SO ELATED AND EXCITED!!!!!!!!

He used our checklist to write me back, including things about his summer, how his swim lessons are going, what book he is reading, and even drew me a little picture! It was absolutely precious and reminded me that I can be a little more on the high side of the road as I approach all this transition! It's things like that that just make me love working with kids! 

Mary Poppins brings all of us to our best

With Every job when it's complete

There is a sense of bitter-sweet

That moment when you know the task is done

Though in your heart you'd like to stay

To help things on their way

You've always known they must do it alone

One of the things I love about seeing the Broadway version of one of my favorite movies is that the different themes tend to smack you across your face when it comes at you from the magical stage of Broadway instead of your 12 inch TV screen. This past weekend I went to see Mary Poppins in Sacramento with my family and Dash and I had one of these "thematic slaps" at the very end of the play. To really get it though, you need some background....

This is the last week of school before summer break. After summer (aka in early August) I start my teaching credential program at Sac State and will have a new school and a new bunch of kiddos to get to know. It seems to be the way that life just reminds you just how good you've got it right before it is time to give it up and move on. I've just had several occasions in the past week or two reminding me of just how cool these kids are that I've gotten to work with this year. Whether it be in the form of a gold mining field trip with 4th graders, helping out in a kindergarten class, making books out of scrap paper with a group of hard working 2nd graders, or listening to the funny jokes of a 4th grade boy, it has just been so enjoyable! 

However, there is one little 4th grader who has made such a difference in my year! I can't imagine how this year would have been without him there. I'd be lying if I said I didn't grow attached to him. As school is winding down, I've thought a lot about how I'm going to maintain contact with him. I just wanna know how he's doing, how school is going, let him know I still care about him! Ahhh!!!! so much "I wants"....

Anyway, back to my thematic slap this weekend. At intermission I was talking to my mom about feeling anxious about leaving a life that I've grown to really enjoy, to start a new one with quadruple the amount of stress. She reminded me that the things I love the most about my job will always be present as a teacher.... Being the typical stubborn daughter I am, I tried to tell her that I just do what I do so well and I don't want to leave the kids and I just don't wanna.....

Well it wasn't until the last song (the 6th reprise of Spoonfull of Sugar) came on that Mary Poppins herself gave me some advice that will probably stick with me so long as I grow close to kids in the classroom.... She reminded me that even though your heart wants nothing more than to stay put and constantly be around, the real success and gratitude lies in stepping back and watching kids do it on their own. I hope that my year spent with these kids, my one little friend in particular, impacts them in a positive way. 

After all, Mary Poppins says it all when she says "they must do it alone" ......

Through their eyes

This past week I was reminded of how fun it is to look at the world from a kid/student's perspective! Often times, I find it hilarious the things that kids find important, or the ways that they joke, or the way they try to weasel their way out of consequences. They can be so creative when they want to be! 

This past week, I went on a field trip to the California Train Museum with the 4th grade class I work with. There is one student in particular that I spend extra time with most days of work, but especially on field trips. Long, long, LOOONGG story short, he and I are pretty close and he has a special place in my heart. 

Anyway, back to the field trip... So this one little friend of mine displayed some early signs of being bored with the field trip as he had visited that museum not too long ago. I forget how it came about, but essentially, he asked if he could take a picture with my camera. I responded with a relaxed and casual "Shure" and before I knew it, he is running around taking pictures of EVERYTHING! It is nothing but comical when I think about how his little brain thought that taking pictures of these things was important enough! Here are some of the gems that I got on my camera at the end of the day....  

a self portrait, capturing the energy of this excited photographer! 

apparently, this mannequin was important... or just really cool looking..... or neither, and was just worthy of a picture to capture his eternal poise. 

when looking at the pictures, my photographer friend said "I took this one of you when you weren't looking" well apparently you did, little guy! 

This was my personal favorite... I rounded the corner to find the photographer of the day pushing the 2 girls in our group to take a "smiling" picture with this museum docent... I wonder if These docents have ever felt so popular while on the job? 

**All the pictures posted are the doing of a 4th grader, not myself! 

I was just reminded this day how important, and fun it is to look at the world through the eyes of the kid. One of the things that struck me most, was that at the end of the day when I was walking my little friend out to the front of school, he thanked me for a fun day. He thanked me for letting him use my camera, and for letting him play games on my phone during the down times in the cars. But he also said "Thank you for trusting me with your camera for the day" and I think that was the most important lesson either of us could have enjoyed that day.