Day 2: Support

Day 2: Today's gratitude is dedicated to support. 

So, in true form of this crazy credential program, I have a lot of assignments that are due right now. Because I will probably talk about it a lot, here's a quick "what-you-really-need-to-know" about this monster of a project that we have named PACT. It's basically an intensive project that will supposedly prove my competency as a teacher based on my pages and pages of planning, commentary, discussion and dissection of various teacher things. In other words, a high-stress emphasis on aspects of teaching that are innate to people.... ANYWAY! I'm in a crazy phase of this project.... deadline to submit for feedback is 11:59 tonight.....

So today's gratitude. Today I'm so thankful for the support that I have in my life. There were 3 specific things today that really struck me in an otherwise chaotic day:

1. I got a sincere, heartfelt, supportive phone call from my friend, Amy right at one of those moments today where I was feeling the intensity! Sam, Amy and I meet as often as we can to share life with each other and spend some time reflecting on what God is doing through all the craziness. Getting that phone call from her so kind and calming and brought me out of my self-induced chaos just for a moment, which was so nice. 

2. While I was in one of those chaotic classes this afternoon, my friend Nate walked through the door! It was such an AWESOME surprise because he doesn't even go to Sac State (.....yet.... ;) )Anyway, it was one of those moments when all I needed was a good hug from one of my people. I texted his awesome wife, Kelcie, and she said she was sitting in the parking lot waiting for him! Knowing how close friends are can sometimes be such a comfort of support.  God plants familiar faces just when I need to be reminded of another reality beyond the current and confined one that school sometimes brings on. 

3. I'm also thankful for getting to carpool with people on days like this. Sometimes, campanionship and chatter in a car before and after a whirlwind means the most to people! Thanks girls! 

Here, there and everywhere

Time for an update! I've had a few realizations these past few weeks. I'm in week 5 of the Sac State Semester, but week 7 of the program as a whole. Here are my realizations, thus far:

1. The semester is WAY longer than the quarter system. Yes, it seems so obvious. But the pacing of projects, classwork, midterms, regular homework is SO different than the quarter system. If I were in week 5 of a quarter system, I would likely be enjoying a down week between midterms, and with finals looming in the near future, I would be gearing up for that. The semester system is physically a longer length of time, thus bringing a new reality to the phrase "sprint to the finish." If I started sprinting now....I think I might die.... I'm learning how to have more endurance, if you will, when it comes to semesters and making it to the end. 


2. Commuting isn't my favorite thing, but its not my least favorite either. Coming into this year, my dad reminded me of the reality that not everyone has a 5 minute commute all their life, like he has had. I took it as a lesson to be learned. I spend a lot of time in my car. Four days a week, I start my morning half-human driving 45 minutes out to Folsom. Then, I hop in the car and drive 25 minutes to Rancho Cordova where I have some of my classes, and some days I add a trip to Sac State, another 15 minutes. And then at some point, I get to drive home, most days after the sun has gone down. Like I said, I really don't mind it for the most part. There are some days that a commute like this is an okay thing, there are other days (mostly when I'm stuck in traffic) where I go "REALLYYY?!?!?!?"


3. With said commute, I've had a lot to learn about how to make community when a common location isn't one of the elements. As I've raved before, last year was blissful (and especially summer) from the standpoint that everything (other than family, besides brother) was in Davis. I worked here, I had friends here, my church was here, everything was local and so much more easily accessible than I even realized. This year, if I'm not here, I'm there. And new friends might not be from here, but they are from there. It is so weird to not have a hub of people tied to a place. I never really thought that would matter, or be a big deal. 


4. And tied to not having a place to hold our friendship forts down, I think I've realized that I'm still figuring out this whole community at a distance thing. Its hard, because I physically live in the same town, but spreading myself out for the sake of school stretches that idea. I still miss people that are no longer around everyday, miss being able to hang out with family, miss being able to even spend time with my friends that do still live in Davis.... All part of an adjustment! 

You gotta love life. I love how it is constantly changing no matter where we are at on the life timeline. Whether we transplant our selves to an entirely different environment, or choose to invest our time and efforts in new places in the same area... it is all part of an ever changing growth in community. So far, the only way I've figured out to manage this growth is through constant and regular thoughts and prayers for each other, headset phone calls during painfully long commutes, and cherishing the time that we do get to share with each other, whether it be on the phone, in a coffee shop, on skype, at youth group or even just sitting on a couch together!

Calm in the commotion

Cliche or not, life has been a roller coaster lately. In this case, I think it is relevant to think about my own experiences with real-life, loopty-loop, goes-upside-down roller coasters in my life. When I was younger, I HATED roller coasters. Every summer, I would go to summer day camps and going to the local amusement park was always a regular field trip fixture. We always had to sign up for a group of thrill-level so that we were with other kids that wanted to go on similar rides. I ALWAYS signed up for the weak and wimpy group.... we went on the merry-go-round a couple spinny rides and that was it. 

In 8th grade I went on a trip to Disneyland/California Adventure with my mom and brother. It was big news that California Adventure had a roller coaster with an upside down part.... I kept staring at the ride, trying to imagine myself on it, picturing what it might feel like to go upside down... I kept talking to my thrill-seeking brother, and my go-with-the-flow mom. They were going to go on the ride regardless of if I went on or not. They kept trying to pressure me to go.... My mom made me a deal and said that she would give me $20 if I went on it.... (DISCLAIMER: my mom didn't not often use bribery as a form to push my limits! We were in Disneyland, afterall!) 

Well.... next thing I knew I was on the roller coaster, and it was true, I didn't feel the upside down part at all! I felt the thrill and the rush of the loopty-loops, stomach-dropping dips, and fast turns! I learned to love roller coasters, and I made 20 bucks! Not a bad afternoon at all! 

Basically, all you brave blog-readers just got a glimpse into the history of this metaphor of life right now. I'm on the roller coaster of a 1 year teaching preparation program. It really is similar to that initial fear of roller coasters; I stood on the outside and tried to imagine what it felt like. I had the great blessing of having a summer that was completely mellow, as I've so eagerly told Blog world about! Starting this program is just like getting on California Screamin' at California Adventure! All of a sudden, your secured into your train, and BAM! you hit high speeds and the first hill before you know it! 

That is exactly how the program has started. We had our anxious meet and greet among cohort members, and then BAM! we hit full speed, and FAST! I've been feeling the thrills and chills that come with a program built on quickness. So much of that is just adjusting my own personal capacities. I know I'm facing a weekend full of readings, postings, lesson plannings, kids interviewing, movie watching, and much MUCH more in between. However, in the same way that the first "big" roller coaster I went on  was only a quick ride, this program will be over before I know it too. I don't want it to go by so fast that I don't feel the thrills, but at the same time, I know this is just a temporary ride, and if it gets so crazy I want to get off.... the safety harness will keep me in, and it has an end in sight! 

Cake Boss

Today was my first day of student teaching for my Teaching Credential Program and I had...if I do say so myself... a brilliant analogy. I was talking to my mentor teacher during recess about the students in the class. My mentor teacher has informed me that more than any other year, this seems to be a very diverse year as far as learners and students needs go. She quickly and casually mentioned how there were a lot of layers in this class. In one of my random moments of clarity I called her the "Cake Boss" of the year. The Cake Boss (the guy on TLC that makes crazy cakes for crazy money) takes these random pieces of cake and layers them together with some glue (frosting) and with a little aesthetic care.... BAM you have a castle of a cake. Literally.

I just let it sit for a while, but as I've been thinking about all the change going on in my life and the life of my friends and family.... I realized to some extent, we are all our own Cake Bosses trying to layer the cake of life in a way that looks like a castle. Sometimes... we get gorgeous sculptures of sweet perfection....while other times we get pathetic mounds of cake crumbs mixed in with some sprinkles for some "added" flavor. If life were a bakery, we would all have such different flavors of cake in our shops.

While I'm sure we all could construct a cake of our own, this is my blog, so allow me to bake a cake for you! As much as I like to think change is good.... the actual change SUCKS!  As I've mentioned before, life went through a big change. I'm still at the phase of life (and probably will be for a good majority of my life) in which a new "year" is actually a new August/September marking change, similar to the school year. The short short version of it is that I'm (1) going back to school to get my multiple subject teaching credential and (2) a few friends near and dear to my heart took off for their own adventures. Other secret: I'm a people person, and a cryer... you do the math to figure out how I handle goodbyes!

Let's allow the layer of change to be my cake layer that got a little burnt because no matter how I feel like I prepare, it always feels like I'm just not quite prepared enough... I actually think I did a pretty good job with this particular change. Well, best as I could which has to count for something, right?!

Anyway...there are tons of layers in this cake that were there from before. (Don't over think the baking analogy... it will get tricky) I've got layers for family, being a daughter and sister. A layer for friends, my local family in which God has strengthened the bonds between, I've got the layer of being a student. I've got a layer for being a youth leader. I've got a layer for being me. I've got a layer for all the kids I've met in schools that mean the world to me! The layers of my cake could go on and on....

Basically what I'm trying to get at with this slightly funky Cake Boss analogy is that we are all in charge of trying to construct our own cake. We're learning how to be creative with our cake, trying to give every layer its chance to shine (or just taste really good!) among many, many layers. And the other truth is, most bakers have co-bakers to help them with their cake. We're all helping to make magnificent creations for each other. One cake at a time, we will fill our bakery!

Mary Poppins brings all of us to our best

With Every job when it's complete

There is a sense of bitter-sweet

That moment when you know the task is done

Though in your heart you'd like to stay

To help things on their way

You've always known they must do it alone

One of the things I love about seeing the Broadway version of one of my favorite movies is that the different themes tend to smack you across your face when it comes at you from the magical stage of Broadway instead of your 12 inch TV screen. This past weekend I went to see Mary Poppins in Sacramento with my family and Dash and I had one of these "thematic slaps" at the very end of the play. To really get it though, you need some background....

This is the last week of school before summer break. After summer (aka in early August) I start my teaching credential program at Sac State and will have a new school and a new bunch of kiddos to get to know. It seems to be the way that life just reminds you just how good you've got it right before it is time to give it up and move on. I've just had several occasions in the past week or two reminding me of just how cool these kids are that I've gotten to work with this year. Whether it be in the form of a gold mining field trip with 4th graders, helping out in a kindergarten class, making books out of scrap paper with a group of hard working 2nd graders, or listening to the funny jokes of a 4th grade boy, it has just been so enjoyable! 

However, there is one little 4th grader who has made such a difference in my year! I can't imagine how this year would have been without him there. I'd be lying if I said I didn't grow attached to him. As school is winding down, I've thought a lot about how I'm going to maintain contact with him. I just wanna know how he's doing, how school is going, let him know I still care about him! Ahhh!!!! so much "I wants"....

Anyway, back to my thematic slap this weekend. At intermission I was talking to my mom about feeling anxious about leaving a life that I've grown to really enjoy, to start a new one with quadruple the amount of stress. She reminded me that the things I love the most about my job will always be present as a teacher.... Being the typical stubborn daughter I am, I tried to tell her that I just do what I do so well and I don't want to leave the kids and I just don't wanna.....

Well it wasn't until the last song (the 6th reprise of Spoonfull of Sugar) came on that Mary Poppins herself gave me some advice that will probably stick with me so long as I grow close to kids in the classroom.... She reminded me that even though your heart wants nothing more than to stay put and constantly be around, the real success and gratitude lies in stepping back and watching kids do it on their own. I hope that my year spent with these kids, my one little friend in particular, impacts them in a positive way. 

After all, Mary Poppins says it all when she says "they must do it alone" ......

Through their eyes

This past week I was reminded of how fun it is to look at the world from a kid/student's perspective! Often times, I find it hilarious the things that kids find important, or the ways that they joke, or the way they try to weasel their way out of consequences. They can be so creative when they want to be! 

This past week, I went on a field trip to the California Train Museum with the 4th grade class I work with. There is one student in particular that I spend extra time with most days of work, but especially on field trips. Long, long, LOOONGG story short, he and I are pretty close and he has a special place in my heart. 

Anyway, back to the field trip... So this one little friend of mine displayed some early signs of being bored with the field trip as he had visited that museum not too long ago. I forget how it came about, but essentially, he asked if he could take a picture with my camera. I responded with a relaxed and casual "Shure" and before I knew it, he is running around taking pictures of EVERYTHING! It is nothing but comical when I think about how his little brain thought that taking pictures of these things was important enough! Here are some of the gems that I got on my camera at the end of the day....  

a self portrait, capturing the energy of this excited photographer! 

apparently, this mannequin was important... or just really cool looking..... or neither, and was just worthy of a picture to capture his eternal poise. 

when looking at the pictures, my photographer friend said "I took this one of you when you weren't looking" well apparently you did, little guy! 

This was my personal favorite... I rounded the corner to find the photographer of the day pushing the 2 girls in our group to take a "smiling" picture with this museum docent... I wonder if These docents have ever felt so popular while on the job? 

**All the pictures posted are the doing of a 4th grader, not myself! 

I was just reminded this day how important, and fun it is to look at the world through the eyes of the kid. One of the things that struck me most, was that at the end of the day when I was walking my little friend out to the front of school, he thanked me for a fun day. He thanked me for letting him use my camera, and for letting him play games on my phone during the down times in the cars. But he also said "Thank you for trusting me with your camera for the day" and I think that was the most important lesson either of us could have enjoyed that day.