Here, there and everywhere

Time for an update! I've had a few realizations these past few weeks. I'm in week 5 of the Sac State Semester, but week 7 of the program as a whole. Here are my realizations, thus far:

1. The semester is WAY longer than the quarter system. Yes, it seems so obvious. But the pacing of projects, classwork, midterms, regular homework is SO different than the quarter system. If I were in week 5 of a quarter system, I would likely be enjoying a down week between midterms, and with finals looming in the near future, I would be gearing up for that. The semester system is physically a longer length of time, thus bringing a new reality to the phrase "sprint to the finish." If I started sprinting now....I think I might die.... I'm learning how to have more endurance, if you will, when it comes to semesters and making it to the end. 


2. Commuting isn't my favorite thing, but its not my least favorite either. Coming into this year, my dad reminded me of the reality that not everyone has a 5 minute commute all their life, like he has had. I took it as a lesson to be learned. I spend a lot of time in my car. Four days a week, I start my morning half-human driving 45 minutes out to Folsom. Then, I hop in the car and drive 25 minutes to Rancho Cordova where I have some of my classes, and some days I add a trip to Sac State, another 15 minutes. And then at some point, I get to drive home, most days after the sun has gone down. Like I said, I really don't mind it for the most part. There are some days that a commute like this is an okay thing, there are other days (mostly when I'm stuck in traffic) where I go "REALLYYY?!?!?!?"


3. With said commute, I've had a lot to learn about how to make community when a common location isn't one of the elements. As I've raved before, last year was blissful (and especially summer) from the standpoint that everything (other than family, besides brother) was in Davis. I worked here, I had friends here, my church was here, everything was local and so much more easily accessible than I even realized. This year, if I'm not here, I'm there. And new friends might not be from here, but they are from there. It is so weird to not have a hub of people tied to a place. I never really thought that would matter, or be a big deal. 


4. And tied to not having a place to hold our friendship forts down, I think I've realized that I'm still figuring out this whole community at a distance thing. Its hard, because I physically live in the same town, but spreading myself out for the sake of school stretches that idea. I still miss people that are no longer around everyday, miss being able to hang out with family, miss being able to even spend time with my friends that do still live in Davis.... All part of an adjustment! 

You gotta love life. I love how it is constantly changing no matter where we are at on the life timeline. Whether we transplant our selves to an entirely different environment, or choose to invest our time and efforts in new places in the same area... it is all part of an ever changing growth in community. So far, the only way I've figured out to manage this growth is through constant and regular thoughts and prayers for each other, headset phone calls during painfully long commutes, and cherishing the time that we do get to share with each other, whether it be on the phone, in a coffee shop, on skype, at youth group or even just sitting on a couch together!

Calm in the commotion

Cliche or not, life has been a roller coaster lately. In this case, I think it is relevant to think about my own experiences with real-life, loopty-loop, goes-upside-down roller coasters in my life. When I was younger, I HATED roller coasters. Every summer, I would go to summer day camps and going to the local amusement park was always a regular field trip fixture. We always had to sign up for a group of thrill-level so that we were with other kids that wanted to go on similar rides. I ALWAYS signed up for the weak and wimpy group.... we went on the merry-go-round a couple spinny rides and that was it. 

In 8th grade I went on a trip to Disneyland/California Adventure with my mom and brother. It was big news that California Adventure had a roller coaster with an upside down part.... I kept staring at the ride, trying to imagine myself on it, picturing what it might feel like to go upside down... I kept talking to my thrill-seeking brother, and my go-with-the-flow mom. They were going to go on the ride regardless of if I went on or not. They kept trying to pressure me to go.... My mom made me a deal and said that she would give me $20 if I went on it.... (DISCLAIMER: my mom didn't not often use bribery as a form to push my limits! We were in Disneyland, afterall!) 

Well.... next thing I knew I was on the roller coaster, and it was true, I didn't feel the upside down part at all! I felt the thrill and the rush of the loopty-loops, stomach-dropping dips, and fast turns! I learned to love roller coasters, and I made 20 bucks! Not a bad afternoon at all! 

Basically, all you brave blog-readers just got a glimpse into the history of this metaphor of life right now. I'm on the roller coaster of a 1 year teaching preparation program. It really is similar to that initial fear of roller coasters; I stood on the outside and tried to imagine what it felt like. I had the great blessing of having a summer that was completely mellow, as I've so eagerly told Blog world about! Starting this program is just like getting on California Screamin' at California Adventure! All of a sudden, your secured into your train, and BAM! you hit high speeds and the first hill before you know it! 

That is exactly how the program has started. We had our anxious meet and greet among cohort members, and then BAM! we hit full speed, and FAST! I've been feeling the thrills and chills that come with a program built on quickness. So much of that is just adjusting my own personal capacities. I know I'm facing a weekend full of readings, postings, lesson plannings, kids interviewing, movie watching, and much MUCH more in between. However, in the same way that the first "big" roller coaster I went on  was only a quick ride, this program will be over before I know it too. I don't want it to go by so fast that I don't feel the thrills, but at the same time, I know this is just a temporary ride, and if it gets so crazy I want to get off.... the safety harness will keep me in, and it has an end in sight! 

And also some pictures from the past few weeks!

They are in a funny order so don't be picky! just enjoy the fun we've had over the past few weeks! I know I did! 

Cake Boss

Today was my first day of student teaching for my Teaching Credential Program and I had...if I do say so myself... a brilliant analogy. I was talking to my mentor teacher during recess about the students in the class. My mentor teacher has informed me that more than any other year, this seems to be a very diverse year as far as learners and students needs go. She quickly and casually mentioned how there were a lot of layers in this class. In one of my random moments of clarity I called her the "Cake Boss" of the year. The Cake Boss (the guy on TLC that makes crazy cakes for crazy money) takes these random pieces of cake and layers them together with some glue (frosting) and with a little aesthetic care.... BAM you have a castle of a cake. Literally.

I just let it sit for a while, but as I've been thinking about all the change going on in my life and the life of my friends and family.... I realized to some extent, we are all our own Cake Bosses trying to layer the cake of life in a way that looks like a castle. Sometimes... we get gorgeous sculptures of sweet perfection....while other times we get pathetic mounds of cake crumbs mixed in with some sprinkles for some "added" flavor. If life were a bakery, we would all have such different flavors of cake in our shops.

While I'm sure we all could construct a cake of our own, this is my blog, so allow me to bake a cake for you! As much as I like to think change is good.... the actual change SUCKS!  As I've mentioned before, life went through a big change. I'm still at the phase of life (and probably will be for a good majority of my life) in which a new "year" is actually a new August/September marking change, similar to the school year. The short short version of it is that I'm (1) going back to school to get my multiple subject teaching credential and (2) a few friends near and dear to my heart took off for their own adventures. Other secret: I'm a people person, and a cryer... you do the math to figure out how I handle goodbyes!

Let's allow the layer of change to be my cake layer that got a little burnt because no matter how I feel like I prepare, it always feels like I'm just not quite prepared enough... I actually think I did a pretty good job with this particular change. Well, best as I could which has to count for something, right?!

Anyway...there are tons of layers in this cake that were there from before. (Don't over think the baking analogy... it will get tricky) I've got layers for family, being a daughter and sister. A layer for friends, my local family in which God has strengthened the bonds between, I've got the layer of being a student. I've got a layer for being a youth leader. I've got a layer for being me. I've got a layer for all the kids I've met in schools that mean the world to me! The layers of my cake could go on and on....

Basically what I'm trying to get at with this slightly funky Cake Boss analogy is that we are all in charge of trying to construct our own cake. We're learning how to be creative with our cake, trying to give every layer its chance to shine (or just taste really good!) among many, many layers. And the other truth is, most bakers have co-bakers to help them with their cake. We're all helping to make magnificent creations for each other. One cake at a time, we will fill our bakery!

Summer Fun

This summer has happily become known as the "Bum Life" among my friends and I. No one really planned it, but somehow about 75% of us are all without a job or any regular and ongoing commitments to keep our time occupied. It's a good thing that we are all professionals in the filling-unscheduled-time department. So, then, the question begs, what have we done with our time? Lots.

At first I saw this summer as overwhelming without anything going on. I'm very much a person who likes routine and is productive when I have stuff going on regularly. However, slowly but surely, one person at a time, the Bum Life grew.

The Bum Life essentials are: friends with no jobs/time consuming commitments, a minimal budget to be used sparingly on adventures and day trips, a lot of sunscreen, and no agenda for the day.

Here are some picture highlights of this fun summer:

Spent many a beautiful day at the pool soaking up some of God's good rays! (with sunscreen of course!) 

Even tho Dad isn't in it.... celebrated Father's Day with some minor league baseball  and pizza! 

Scootered around Davis to get some french fries from our robot friends at Carl's Jr. 

Played many a game of Phase 10 with some awesome junior highers! Hayley, we miss you!!

Mama Tits came to town so we enjoyed our traditional pepperoni pizza from Cafe Italia! 

The pic is blurry (obviously) but we had fun waiting 14 innings to see the Giant's win! 

And now we make it to the beach house.... 11 friends, 1 bathroom and a ton of good memories! 

This little treasure of a beach was fantastic! Thanks Northern California! 

Best part of vacationing with friends...sharing beds! 

Las Chicas during our last little bit at the beach! 

Went to the drive in! We brought couches and enjoyed ourselves some Cars 2! 

We helped out at the week long day camp at Church! These 2 were fun to lead with! 

And fun to make fun faces with! 

I'm gonna miss this Ice Princess when she leaves for Chicago! 

We had a character night. This pic reminds me that my friends and weird! 

All these fun adventures have reminded me how it isn't necessarily about what you do with those around you (although, I have had some fun, clearly!) but it is about who you get to spend time with. I'm amazed at how God has strengthened this group of friends to the point where it feels like we are all on dysfunctional family and the only thing that makes us function is the love we have for each other. I'm appreciative of all the memories that I've gotten to make this summer during the Bum Life and with all the people that have shared in it with me. To all those that take the time read all the way through, I hope you've been reminded of the good one's in your life during the summer moments! That warm fuzzy feeling great friends give you is really priceless!

Special Delivery!

Lately I've been feeling a little "middle of the road" with all the transitions that are taking place. I say middle of the road, because I really don't do that well with change but I am excited to be settled into a new environment and working with new students at a new school. I like to think of myself as someone who welcomes adventures, and new, and unpredictable, but really I'm a creature of habit and I like when I know what to expect.  As I'm getting ready for a new adventure, I'm a little wary of the whole "start." I know that once I settle into everything it will be great, and I'll be constantly reminded why I wanted to pursue my teaching credential, but right now I'm feeling pretty up-in-the-air about it all! 

I'm also gearing up for the whole "friends-that-are-leaving" part of the next adventure. It seems that that is a normal marker, and one that will be a part of the next few years. While I'm excited for all the new adventures life is bringing us all, not being able to sit down at the same table and laugh and cry about all the ups-and-downs of each and every day definitely take me some getting used to. I'm not usually this emotional about that stuff, but I've found myself on the brink of tears whenever I think about those "see ya laters"(because I KNOW they will NOT be goodbyes). I don't think they are completely tears of sadness, but just tears of "damn, we've had some good times." I know that there will be new friends in the picture and that they will be just as fabulous, but never will replace these friendships! 

But, the real reason I'm posting today is because I got something so fantastic and special in the mail today! There was one student in particular that I got extremely close to last year and I was heartbroken to leave at the end of the year. He definitely stole a huge chunk of my heart. Anyway, I wanted to keep in touch with him however I could. I know that once school starts, my co-workers will do what they can to keep us in touch, but until then.... 

ANYWAY! I wrote him a letter a couple weeks ago just telling him about my summer and asking him some questions. His social worker told me not to expect anything in return which made me a little sad, but i sent the letter anyway. I included a self-addressed envelope and a "checklist" like the ones that we used day-in and day-out at school with some ideas for what he can write me back with. I checked the mail this morning, with my "middle-of-the-road" attitude in full swing. And i peaked inside our dinky mail box and i saw my self-addressed envelope sitting under some crappy ads! I WAS SO ELATED AND EXCITED!!!!!!!!

He used our checklist to write me back, including things about his summer, how his swim lessons are going, what book he is reading, and even drew me a little picture! It was absolutely precious and reminded me that I can be a little more on the high side of the road as I approach all this transition! It's things like that that just make me love working with kids! 

Mary Poppins brings all of us to our best

With Every job when it's complete

There is a sense of bitter-sweet

That moment when you know the task is done

Though in your heart you'd like to stay

To help things on their way

You've always known they must do it alone

One of the things I love about seeing the Broadway version of one of my favorite movies is that the different themes tend to smack you across your face when it comes at you from the magical stage of Broadway instead of your 12 inch TV screen. This past weekend I went to see Mary Poppins in Sacramento with my family and Dash and I had one of these "thematic slaps" at the very end of the play. To really get it though, you need some background....

This is the last week of school before summer break. After summer (aka in early August) I start my teaching credential program at Sac State and will have a new school and a new bunch of kiddos to get to know. It seems to be the way that life just reminds you just how good you've got it right before it is time to give it up and move on. I've just had several occasions in the past week or two reminding me of just how cool these kids are that I've gotten to work with this year. Whether it be in the form of a gold mining field trip with 4th graders, helping out in a kindergarten class, making books out of scrap paper with a group of hard working 2nd graders, or listening to the funny jokes of a 4th grade boy, it has just been so enjoyable! 

However, there is one little 4th grader who has made such a difference in my year! I can't imagine how this year would have been without him there. I'd be lying if I said I didn't grow attached to him. As school is winding down, I've thought a lot about how I'm going to maintain contact with him. I just wanna know how he's doing, how school is going, let him know I still care about him! Ahhh!!!! so much "I wants"....

Anyway, back to my thematic slap this weekend. At intermission I was talking to my mom about feeling anxious about leaving a life that I've grown to really enjoy, to start a new one with quadruple the amount of stress. She reminded me that the things I love the most about my job will always be present as a teacher.... Being the typical stubborn daughter I am, I tried to tell her that I just do what I do so well and I don't want to leave the kids and I just don't wanna.....

Well it wasn't until the last song (the 6th reprise of Spoonfull of Sugar) came on that Mary Poppins herself gave me some advice that will probably stick with me so long as I grow close to kids in the classroom.... She reminded me that even though your heart wants nothing more than to stay put and constantly be around, the real success and gratitude lies in stepping back and watching kids do it on their own. I hope that my year spent with these kids, my one little friend in particular, impacts them in a positive way. 

After all, Mary Poppins says it all when she says "they must do it alone" ......